Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas/Clip of the Week

MERRRRRY CHRISSSSTMAS!

Christmas has been pretty good to me this year, to celebrate here is the trailer for my favorite Christmas movie of all time (apologies to Mr. Capra):



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Clip of the Week

Linus' Christmas Monologue

Ah! Joy! Christmas is almost here. And with it come the Peanuts.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

TOP TEN HE-MAN FIGURES

It's time, once again, for the top ten list of the week. And, since it's so close to Christmas, this week are going to do a top ten list of one of the greatest toys you could've ever gotten for Christmas: He-Man. That's right, while the cartoon is tripe, the figures are DA BOMB. I mean that, they had some of the coolest, most innovative action figures on the market. So, here they are, the top ten He-Man figures of ALL-TIME!!!!


10. Man-E-Faces - One of the good guys, Man-E-Faces had three, count 'em three faces that you could switch in between. This is helpful for either a disguise or to make him show a wide range of emotions.

















9. Buzz Off - Originally issued in 1984, Buzz Off is the heroic Spy in the Sky. The coolest thing about him were his rubber wings and the pattented "twist and punch power". Of course, he also came with an axe and a helmet.



















8. Leech - The action figure that sticks! Another part of the Horde's original line-up, I don't know why you would want an action figure that has suction cups on him, but whatever.

















7. Grizzlor - Part of the original lineup for the Evil Horde in 1985, Grizzlor is one hairy 'lor. I don't know exactly what he is supposed to be, but he is beastly and has real Grizzlor fur!














6. Trap Jaw - While he doesn't possess any of the novelties that some of the latter He-Man figures are known for, Trap Jaw is super cool on his own merits. He does have a jaw like a bear trap, though.


















5. Stinkor - By almost all accounts Stinkor would be a weak figure. Why, you might ask, is he listed on the top ten He-Man figures ever then? I'll tell you. 1985's Stinkor holds the title of being the world's only skunk scented action figure. That's right, he litereally stank. While, from what I remember, he really just smelt like plastic and rubber, the concept was that he was supposed to smell like a skunk. I guess that was some sort of defense for him.

















4. Two Bad - Get it? Two Bad? There are two heads, and they are both bad dudes.





















3. Spikor - He may seem kind of lame now, but to for me as a kid, I always wanted to play with Spikor. He was covered in rubber spikes that made for a very interesting texture and for very interesting kills. I remember that I liked to use him as a giant monster come to attack my 3 3/4" Gi Joes.














2. Skeletor - What's so cool about the Skeletor figure you might ask? Does it have spikes? Does it stink? Is it hairy? No. None of the above. But! Skeletor has a skull for a head, and that's totally rad.


















1. Modulok - Two seperate creatures, or one mega creature, which do you prefer? Modulok was awesome. It came with enough pieces to form ONE THOUSAND different creatures (so said the box). One thing I didn't know was that you could combine Modulok with Multi-Bot to create AN UBER CREATURE. Wonderful. X-Entertainment has a WHOLE ARTICLE on Modulok!









-Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Posters

This is going to be a tough list because of how much wonderful poster art has been done for horror films, usually because the movies are so bad, they have to make kickass posters to get your two bucks. To make a definitive list might be impossible, because of the sheer volume, but I am going to try. These are theatrical posters, no box art.

CLICK FOR LARGER PICTURES

1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre





















2. Maniac

























3. Frankenstein
























4. Halloween II
























5. Jaws
























6. Tarantula




















7. Pirhana
























8. Bees
























9. Scream and Scream Again
























10. Fright Night





















On an unrelated note, I do want to say farewell to Greg "Mad Dog" Maddux, who is retiring. Congrats on one heck of a career. Maddux is gets your humble author's vote for best pitcher of the last twenty years.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Monday, December 8, 2008

Clip of the Week

Full Christmas Specials on YouTube!

Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special



Garfield Christmas



...and the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special!



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Clip of the Week

A Colbert Christmas!

Hope you got a chance to see it, I am sure they will be re-running it. Great to see Christmas specials making a come back.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving/Clip of the Week

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, YO!




- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Clip of the Week

Sega CD Commercial

Remember this?



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week


With baseball season being over, I am grasping at straws to keep some semblance the game around for the winter months. Basically that just means talking about it as much as possible. Luckily they are still doing all the award announcing so that keeps it fresh. But, this post is about something that Pop Newmo and I talked about a little while ago. We all know that there aren't very many Captains in baseball anymore. There are three, to be exact, Jeter, Konerko, and Varitek. We all understand with the volatility of the market how hard it is to keep a guy in your city for long enough to make them captain, but this is a list of guys that deserve to wear the C on their uniform.

10. Khalil Greene - San Diego Padres - Khalil is going into his sixth season with the Padres this coming season, his numbers aren't necessarily there, but clubhouse presence has to count for a lot. Plus how many other players are going to actually stick around in San Diego?

9. Jimmy Rollins - Philadelphia Phillies - Jimmy has been with the team eight years, just earned himself a ring, and is all around a phenomenal baseball player. I think he gets it by default.

8.Derek Lee - Chicago Cubs - Lee may not be a lifer, but he's been with the Cubbies for five seasons now, and he is arguably the most valuable player on that team. With a career line that looks like a .282 avg, 1538 hits, 258 homeruns, and 828 (not too mention gold glove defense), I'd take him as my captain.

7.Carl Crawford - Tampa Bay Rays - He's been with the team since their inception (seven years ago) and has consistently been very good. He's a career .292 hitter with 302 stolen bases and 1111 hits. Not too shabby.

6. Justin Morneau - Minnesota Twins - This Canuck has been with the Twins for five seasons now, and hits .281 for his career with 133 dingers. Not just super impressive, but pretty good, especially in comparisson with the rest of his team. Now, if we give Mauer a few more seasons, he may usurp this mantle, but I'd give it to Morneau right now.

5. Vernon Wells - Toronto Blue Jays - This coming season will make one decade with the Jays for Wells, and he has strung out some decent numbers during his duration. He's a career .283 hitter (actually posting .300 this season!) with 1204 hits and 177 homers. Not shabby, and definitely the Blue Jay with the most longevity.

4. Lance Berkman - Houston Astros - Definitely the brightest spot on the Astros squad, Berkman has been with the 'stros for a decade, and really seems to just be getting better.

3. Michael Young - Texas Rangers - Again, his tenure isn't really there, but he is one of the oldest guys on the team (at 32) and we have him locked up for a longgg time. Plus, he's a really good, old school style ballplayer. Got his first Gold Glove this year to boot!

2. Albert Pujols - St. Louis Cardinals - He may not be tenured enough quite yet, but being the best baseball player on the planet has to count for something. Is he a Cards lifer? Only time will tell. Oh yeah, and congrats on another MVP as well!

1. Chipper Jones - Atlanta Braves - He's the best player on the team, and has been for years and years. I really don't think he's going anywhere.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, November 7, 2008

Clip of the Week

Manny Being Manny

This is the unaired Manny being Manny commercial for Sportscenter. Check it out.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Zack and Miri Make a Porno


A Review - A Retrospective

First of all, I want to say welcome to the future. And a hearty welcome to President Elect Obama. Now, I don't want to make this post a political one, so let's move on from there, I just had to say it...

I took the girlfriend to watch Kevin Smith's latest film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, over the weekend. And it was 101 minutes well spent. We actually both enjoyed it. It may not have been Kevin Smith's triumphant re-entry into the world of American cinema, but it was a fun, clever film that made you feel damn good about the world.

Like I said, it wasn't Clerks or Mallrats or Chasing Amy, but nor was it (thankfully) Jay and Silent Bob or Jersey Girl. What it was was startlingly fresh from Smith. No New Jersey or View Askewniverse to hold him back, he's broken out of his box. He's finally made another good movie that stands on its own merit. It's also not "nerd-centric", meaning you don't have to be a total geek to enjoy it. Yeah, there are still a few little nuggets there for ya ifin' you are a nerd, but it's no where near as in your face as some of Smith's previous work. Which, I think, is good, even though I am one of the nerds that eat that shit up.

As far as plot, go ahead and throw that one out the window. The third act, especially, is incredibly trite and you've seen it a thousand times. And while that does detract from the value of the movie, it's not nearly as much as if someone else had written it. Did Clerks have any kind of discernible plot? Nah. Luckily Smith is capable enough to make the mundane entertaining and the trite still funny.

I also really dug the soundtrack. The film starts out with Winona's Big Brown Beaver (Primus), which is a totally rad way to start out anything. Then we get treated to the sweet sounds of Live and MC Chris. Not too mention great usage of Pixies' "Hey". Really cool stuff in that department.

I'll tell ya, Smith directing Seth Rogen is like a cream dream. Newmo and I were talking, and I told him that I was no longer into actors in the same sense I used to be. What I mean by that is that there aren't any actors (save for my beloved genre actors - Bruce, there is always room for you) that when they put out a new film, I say to myself, "Damn, Keanu Reeves has a new film! Let's go!". But, I was wrong. Seth Rogen is that guy. I love everything that he has done since and including Freaks and Geeks. The guy is money. And this brings me to my next point: there have been a crap ton of comedies that I absolutely love come out over the last three years.

Now, these movies may not ever be enshrined with the greatest comedies of all time (see: Annie Hall/It Happened One Night), but they are so damn funny that I can watch and re-watch them. Here are the movies that I am building my case around: Knocked Up, Superbad, Hot Fuzz, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Pineapple Express, and, yes, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (admittedly the weakest of the lot, but I have a soft spot for it). These movies make me feel good. And, it's in no small part due to the comedic genius of Judd Apatow and his great eye for comedic starpower. Of course, Hot Fuzz has nothing to do with him, but it is simply awesome.

The problem: I've seen this happen before. Most recently, the case of Stiller/Ferrell/Wilson(s)/Vaughn (before that with the SNL group, before that with the SNL group before them). Yeah. You got burnt out on them, too. I loved Old School. It was to Ghostbusters (minus the ghosts) what American Pie was to Porky's. a great throw-back, dude-oriented, romp in immaturity. Next, in the list of good, came Anchorman (which Rogen was in, briefly), which I liked quite a bit, and then...a rapid decline into WTF?-dom.

I really hope this doesn't happen to the current Kings of Comedy. Rogen, Apatow, Jason Segel, and that little bastard Jonah Hill. Really looking forward to Funny People - Apatow's (written/directed by) new one that stars Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, with the RZA thrown in for good measure. Niiice.

7.0 out of 10

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Clip of the Week

THE A-CLIP-ALYPSE!

Well, since we are so close to Halloween, I am just going to throw out a mixed bag of macabre mini movies for your viewing pleasure:

FEAR(S) OF THE DARK TRAILER:



NEW FOOTAGE FROM CoD 5's "ZOMBIE MODE":



THOMAS EDISON'S FRANKENSTEIN:



Woah. That's some wonderful clip action. Hope you dug it (like you would a grave, or something equally terrifying).

- Jordamned
Sulfur Lake, TX

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Top Five List of the Week

Top 5 Halloween TV Specials

Alright, there are two times of year that are especially great to watch your favorite TV series, because you know they will probably do something special: Halloween and Christmas. And, since it is almost Halloween, my personal favorite holiday, I thought we'd go ahead and list out the top five TV Halloween specials of all time.

5. Freaks and Geeks: Tricks and Treats - Judd Apatow's woefully short-lived TV series actually managed to give us one of the best Halloween specials after just one season. In it, we follow Sam as he finally realizes that his time for trick or treating is up (a bittersweet realization that carries with it many more philosiphical underpinnings for a youth) and we get to see Bill dress up as the Bionic Woman! Here's a clip!

4. South Park: Pinkeye - After Kenny is killed (natch) by the Mir Space Station landing on him, he is zombified when a bottle of Worcestershire sauce accidentally gets mixed in with embalming fluid at the morgue. Plus Cartman dresses up like Hitler and Chef leads a zombified cartoon version of Thriller! You can't beat it.

3. Roseanne: Boo! - When I was a kid, I remember always loving the Roseanne Halloween specials. That show always pulled out all the stops and made some great Halloween entertainment. "Boo!" happens to be the first of the annual Halloween specials for the show, and the best. It features Roseanne attempting to do everything she can to scare the poo out of Dan as he awaits a very important business phone call. Roseanne was so big on Halloween specials, they've even released a Halloween Special DVD! Plus you can watch it here!

2. The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror V - My favorite of all the Treehouse specials, part V featured "The Shinning", "Time and Punishment", and "Nightmare Cafeteria". The last one was actually pretty ghoulish, featuring a group of teachers feasting on the children of Springfield! Although the Treehouse that comes out this year does look promising, as it includes a Simpsons version of...

1. It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - Of course this is going to be number one. It's an absolute classic that deserve its status. Is there anything more heartbreaking than watching Charlie Brown get a rock at every house he trick or treats at? No. Watch it here!

Now, I know, I like Paul Lynde as much as the next guy, but these are my personal favorites. If you don't like it, you can shove it. But you don't like it, you love it.

- Jordanstein's M.onster
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Clip of the Week

A Tale of Two Trailers

So, technically this is two clips of the week, but since they are both trailers I am just going to go ahead and post them both at once. I am certainly excited to see both!

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN:



MY NAME IS BRUCE:



- Jordan Manhattan Baby
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Movie Deaths



10. Debbie Turned into Cockroach (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) - Freddy has long been known for his creative kills, and this one in ANOES 4, may be the single weirdest. You see Debbie is deathly afraid of cockroaches. Early on the film, we see her squash one of the cute little buggers with extreme prejudice. When it's her time to die, we see Freddy actually turn her into what she hates the most, and squash her like the bug she is.

YOUTUBE LINK!

9. Raft Massacre (The Burning) - The Burning is one of the few slashers that you can actually call under appreciated. In this, the best scene, our dear old Cropsy decides to really stick it to a whole canoe full of kids! With effects by Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead) you know it's good.

YOUTUBE LINK!

8. Jesus Wept (Hellraiser) - In this scene, Frank Cotton (Sean Chapman) bites it by getting ripped apart by demonic chains that conform to the will of Pinhead and the cenobites! This is just the type of crazy sadism you'd expect from Clive Barker.

YOUTUBE LINK!

7. Giovanni Lombardo Radice Gets a Headache (City of the Living Dead) - In this graphic scene, Giovanni Lombardo Radice's (House on the Edge of the Park) Bob bites it with the classic drill to the head from an angry daddy. Ouch.

YOUTUBE LINK!

6. And Washed the Cook Down the Drain (The Blob - 1988) - In the most memorable scene from The Blob remake, we are treated to a cook getting sucked down the sink, like so much garbage in a garbage disposal. It's a pretty creative scene, and worthy of this list.

YOUTUBE LINK!

5. Tina on the Ceiling (A Nightmare on Elm Street) - Yes, Freddy rears his ugly head once more on this list, this time from the original film. This time, an unseen Freddy rips her to shreds and drags her up the walls and onto the ceiling before spilling all of her blood onto the bed!

YOUTUBE LINK! (you can skip to about 2:16)

4. Clear! (The Thing) - In one of the best scenes in an awesome movie, we find an emergency procedure go awry! Watch out for that chest cavity, it's got bite!

YOUTUBE LINK!

3. Gut Vomit (City of the Living Dead) - I would definitely consider this one of the best "kills" ever filmed. In this scene, we get to watch as one of our heroines is telepathically signalled to VOMIT UP HER OWN GUTS.

YOUTUBE LINK!

2. Sleep Through This, Judy! (Friday the 13th 7: The New Blood)- In what's probably the most infamous kill in the series, we find our young Judy chilling in a sleeping bag, waiting on her boyfriend to get back. But all is not well. Jason has killin' on the brain, natch. Of course, Jason picks Judy up whilst still in the sleeping back and decides to swing her, baseball bat style, into a nice big tree. What a kill!

FUN TRIVIA: All existing home video versions of this film, including the box set released by Paramount Home Video have the infamous "sleeping bag death" cut to one hit, whereas the original theater-shown version had the uncut, six-hit sleeping bag death scene, with blood all over the sleeping bag, intact.

YOUTUBE LINK!

1. Choke On 'Em! (Day of the Dead) - In this gruesome scene, the hated Captain Rhodes (Joesph Pilato) literally gets ripped in half by a horde of hungry undead, thanks, in part, to everyone's favorite zombie, Bub. The grue is terrifically done by Tom Savini, and everyone lives to hate Rhodes. All of it adds up for the greatest horror death scene ever.

YOUTUBE LINK!


- Jordan Monster
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Rays Win the Pennant!

The Rays Win the Pennant!


Just wanted to take a second to acknowledge one of the best stories of the last few years in baseball, I am talking, of course, about the worst-to-first machine that is the Tampa Bay (Devil)
Rays. How about that Evan Longoria? BJ Upton? Matt Garza? And what about that young David Price? These kids are something special. Looking forward to watching them take on the fighting Phils in the Fall Classic.

I'll tell ya, I am super impressed with this club. Especially Evan Longoria. When kids have great rookie seasons, sometimes that hit that sophomore slump the next year and never get out of it, but I think it is safe to say that this kid is for real. His post-season stats are probably a good barometer to read if he is for real or not, and his numbers are stunning.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs ,TX

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Top Fifteen List of the Week

15 Songs to Make a Macabre Mix CD

Being this close to Halloween, I always like to make a nice horror-fied mix CD. Here are some great tracks to add to your own Macbre Mix CD, trust me, it'll be a huge hit at your Halloween party:

1. John Carpenter - Halloween Theme - You can't go wrong with Carpenter's simple and malicious score.

2. Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl - A lot of good White/Rob Zombie titles to pick from, but Living Dead Girl stands alone as a great and horrific pop song that'll get the people going.

3. The Cramps - Surfin' Dead - The Cramps are a great punk/rockabilly band, and have a lot of horror-themed stuff in their portfolio, but Surfin' Dead is probably their best known song, as it was from Return of the Living Dead.

4. Danzig - Am I Demon - It's Danzig, asking if he is a demon. What more do you want?

5. Sisters of Mercy - Cry Little Sister - This one is on the list, simply to get your guests to stand there for a minute and scratch their heads. Once you tell them that it's the song from The Lost Boys, they'll all nod in approval.

6. Type O Negative - Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All) - It's Type O Negative. It should be requisite fodder for the Halloween mix.

7. Gravediggaz - Diary of a Madman - Probably the best to come out of the Horrorcore genre of rap, Gravediggaz is Prince Paul, Frukwan, Too Poetic, and RZA, and they are some gruesome mothafunkas.

8. The Ramones - Pet Semetary - "I don't wanna be buried, in a pet cemetery, I don't want to live my life again." Tell me you don't want to hear that.

9. Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast - Of course, we need some Maiden on here, and Number of the Beast will certainly pick things up.

10. Alice Cooper - Welcome to My Nightmare - I thought about going with Man Behind the Mask, but this is a much better song.

11. The Misfits - Night of the Living Dead - An absolute classic, Night of the Living Dead comes in at 1:57. And, of course, this is early (Danzig-era) Misfits.

12. Slayer - Raining Blood - The hardest song on here, Raining Blood is sure to make any crowd go a little berzerk. It's actually the catchy song on Rain of Blood, so it's a little more accessible than some of the others.

13. Wednesday 13 - The Ghost of Vincent Price - A pretty rocking song, pretty much any song by Wednesday 13 or The Murderdolls would work, but I like this one. It's all about Vincent Price. And that's awesome.

14. Michael Jackson - Thriller - Come on, you and everyone you know like Thriller and you secretly want to do the dance. Hopefully by track 14, you've had a few too many and you actually start doing it!

15. Fabio Frizzi - Zombie Fleash Eaters theme - A great way to cap it off is with Frizzi's wonderful theme to Fulci's classic Zombi 2. The song is seriously phenomenally eerie. A great capper!

- Jordan M. for MURDER!
Sulphur Springs, TX

Monday, October 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Captain Ninja vs. Evil Dr. Robowheels

Thrills! Chills! Danger! Romance! Ninjas!



Yes, my adoring fans, this is my latest masterpiece. If it's not a masterpiece, it's pretty rad though, right?

- Jordan The Ripper
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, October 10, 2008

Top Five List of the Week


Top Five Horror Remakes

It's true. Today, the horror remake is usually just an excuse to rehash old ideas (with a built in fan base) with new teenagers in the lead roles for studios to grab a quick buck. And they usually suck. Hard. But, let us not forget that there have been some true gems. And, even one or two cases where the remake suprpasses the original *gasp*!

5. Night of the Living Dead (1990) - Effects guru Tom Savini remakes his old friend George's seminal masterpiece. Sounds like it would be a really cool undertaking, and, for the most part, it is. Gone are the socio-political underpinnings of the original, replaced with tons of grue (in color!). No, it's not anyway near what the original was, but it still manages to be a fun picture to watch.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004) - Dawn of the Dead (1978) is one of my favorite films, so it is no small feat for Zack Snyder to have made a remake that I would actually put on this list. While paling in comparisson to the orignal, Snyder's take manages to be quite different and still pretty scary. I recommend watching it, but don't expect it to live up to Romero.

3. The Blob (1988) - Released 30 years after the original, The Blob manages to be a lot of fun. Chuck Russell doesn't skimp on the gore, and the sheer b-movieosity of it all keeps you glued to the screen. You can't beat a classic, but this remake manages to actually be more entertaining than the Steve McQueen driven orginal.

2. The Fly (1986) - David Cronenberg's version actually suprass the 1958 Vincent Price film. Of course, the grue is amazing, but he also gets a solid performance out of Jeff Goldblum, no easy task!

1. The Thing (1982) - John Carpenter's absolute masterpiece of cold fear and paranoia tops off the list as the single best horror remake of all time. Taking Howard Hawks' The Thing from Another World, and making it completely his own, Carpenter's movie bombed at the box office, but it is still one of the best films of the eighties. I rank it right under Raging Bull.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Clip of the Week

Within the Woods

This was the short film that the gang that brought you The Evil Dead (Raimi, Tapert, etc) shot in order to prove to investors that they could convingly do a horror flick on a budget. The video quality is terrible, but you get the idea:



Groovy.

- Jordan "Don't Call me Ash" M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, October 3, 2008

Talking Film

With Jordan M.

Just a little heads up, this isn't really going to be any kind of a cohesive post, just ramblings about different things film-related.

The first thing of note is this bit of news reported by AICN (full article here):

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. You may have just seen the trade story that Herc ran just below this and now we have a follow-up from a reader who has some info on ISLAND OF THE DEAD (TM Hercules The Strong) and some rather blurry set pics. Nothing crazy awesome yet, but it is exciting to see Romero at work again and it's doubly exciting for me that he's not doing DIARY OF THE DEAD 2. Thank Christmas. DIARY OF THE DEAD just pisses me off and I'm happy to see the master at work on a Dead film not tied to the last piece of doggy-doo.

So, I guess this may or may not be a sequel to Diary (AICN says it isn't at least) or a sequel to Land or none of the above. The Master has been pretty reserved about relinquishing details.

In other news, I have just now noticed that the Tarrantino-helmed remake of Inglorious Bastards has its teaser poster art out:


If you don't know anything about Inglorious Bastards, here is the plot summary:
During World War II a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers

It stars Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, Eli Roth(!), and Diane Kruger. Tarrantino has done his share of immitating (and with flair!), but never a straight up remake before, so I am pretty interested to see how this one turns out. The smart money says it's going to be good, but the production seems to have been pretty tumultuous, at one time even having Adam Sandler attached as the lead.

And, more thing of interest, on Oct. 14 Ghosthouse Underground is releasing Dark Floors on DVD. Not too excited? What if I told you it's a Finnish horror flick starring Lordi. Now I've got your attention. Check out the trailer:HERE!!!
- Jordamned
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Clip of the Week

Zombie v. Shark

One of the best scenes from one of the best zombie movies ever, Zombi (aka Zombie 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters, etc.). This scene features a zombie attempting to eat the brain (?) of a shark. All of this set to Fabio Frizzi's wonderful score!



- Jordan The Impaler
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Films of the 2000's

This week's top ten list chronicles the best horror movies of the 21st century, so enjoy.

10. 28 Days Later (2002) - While I still don't defend 28 Days Later as a zombie movie, I don't have any problem deeming it the tenth best horror flick of the last eight years. Boyle's direction is superb and the acting is downright great. The only major flaw is that the story is complete retread pap.

9. Cabin Fever (2002) - Screw you, this movie is good. Cabin Fever is an infectiously original horror tale set in a *gasp* a cabin in the woods. The whole story revolves around a disease that eventually starts taking over the residents of said cabin. It's nowhere near the first viral horror film, but it stays fresh, becoming almost a slasher movie with no slasher, merely a disgusting, skineating disease!

8. Jisatsu Saakuru (Suicide Club) (2002) - Surprisingly the only Japaneses film to make my list, Suicide Club is a crazily surreal mystery story filled with bloodsoaked carnage. You remember that scene in Hostel where the chick jumps in front of a train? Totally cribbed from Suicide Club. Anyway, just watch it.

7. Session 9 (2001) - A generally undiscovered gem, Brad Anderson's (Happy Accidents, Transsiberian) Session 9 is a thrilling ghost-mystery film, putting a new film on the haunted building (in this case, a mental institution) formula. Overall, the chills here are more psychological and keep you on the edge of your seat.

6. Slither (2006) - From the mind of former Tromaville resident James Gunn comes a wickedly funny B-movie in the tradition of Night of the Creeps. Slither stars Henry himself, Michael Rooker, as Grant Grant, the guy that eventually becomes the host for some strange alien creature that really likes to eat. Check it out, some great laughs!

5. Grindhouse (Deathproof/Planet Terror) (2007) - Yeah, we are putting both films together. Tarantino and Rodriguez came together with a very solid one-two punch with Grindhouse. Of course, the entire thing is homage (that is the whole concept behind it). Luckily, this homage is crafted by two expert film-makers!

4. Haute Tension (High Tension) (2003) - The French are really starting to make a name for themselves in the horror community with stuff like Inside and Frontiere(s), but it seems like it can all be traced back to Alexander Aja and his crimson-soaked (almost) masterpiece Haute Tension. I'll be the first to admit it, I don't like the ending either. I found it just as trtie as you did. But the rest of the film, my goodness, keeps the red stuff coming. And Jordan likey.

3. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Another film that is conceptually an homage (in case you are extremely uninformed, the name is a riff on Dawn of the Dead), and is gut-bustingly funny in execution. Shaun of the Dead keeps the gore at a hard R, but still manages to be bitingly funny (much funnier than anything Peter Jackson did, I must say).

2. American Psycho (2000) - You say what you will, but American Psycho is a straight up exploitation film in the mold of all my favorites. Forget the ambiguity of the ending, and focus on the whacked out, twistedness of the film. I'm not suggested Patrcik Bateman is a role model, but you could do worse.

1. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) - Don Coscarelli makes weird movies (almost exclusively Phantasms and Beastmasters), and Bubba Ho-Tep is no exception. This hilarious B-movie pits Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell's old-ass Elvis Presley and Ossie Davis' JFK (yep) against an ancient mummy in a showdown at a retirement home. Yeah, that's the plot. As ridiculous as that sounds, the laughs keep rolling, especially thanks to Campbell and Davis' great turns as the deceased historical figures. Great campy fun.

EDIT 10/17: I am not going to re-edit this whole list, but watching the 2007 Spanish horror film [Rec] really makes me want to. It is phenomenal and would probably bump down Grindhouse. Watch it!


- Bride of Jordanstein
Sulphur Springs, TX

Happy October

Oktoberfest!

That's right boos and ghouls, it's October. That glorious month filled with frights, freaks, and playoff baseball. I am supremely excited in every way. I kicking off my October horror marathon today and am hoping to catch three straight playoff baseball games on TBSHD. Oh, what a day. That's really all I have for now.

- "Deranged" Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs,TX

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Clip of the Week

The Mascot

This is the first part of The Mascot, a film by Wladyslaw Starewicz, one of the greatest pioneers of stop motion animation. It was originally released in 1934. If you like it, check out the other two parts. Enjoy.




- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Unforgivable



Sorry it's late, all you loyal readers.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Horror! The Horror!

A Journey in to the Macabre

My favorite month, October, is almost here. I love it. October means horror DVD specials, coustumes and blood capsules at the store, and increased amounts of horror on the boob tube! It's my kind of month, but I really need to get prepared this year. Two years ago, I made it my goal to watch 31 horror movies in the month of October, and I actually was able to pull it off. Here's the 2006 list:

The House on Sorority Row
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Near Dark
Descent
Dracula
Mountain of the Cannibal God
Dead Birds
Hellraiser
House Where Evil Dwells
Night of the Demons
Zombi 3
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Friday the 13th Part 2
Friday the 13th Part III
Needful Things
Shaun of the Dead
Splatter University
Fright Night
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
Re-Animator
Night of the Creeps
Halloween
Storm of the Century
Halloween II
Slither
Trauma
New Nightmare
An American Haunting,
The Night Stalker
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Zombie Honeymoon


However, last year, I was only able to watch a paltry six. SIX! Here's the 2007 list:

The Dead Zone
Zombi 2
Army of Darkness
The Last Slumber Party
Graveyard Shift
Cheerleader Massacre



This has to be remedied. This year, I am making it my goal to watch 32 horror movies in the month of October. That's right, to hell with the calender, I'm gonna do one better. Anyway, consider this an open invitation (assuming I personally know, and like, you) to come over anytime during the month of October this year and horror it up with me. I don't have any itinerary or anything, but I do have a few on my want-to-watch-list, and, as luck would have it, I own most of them. So, here are a few that I am thinking about:

Lucker: The Necrophagous
Inside
Night of the Demons II
13 Game of Death
Dellamorte, Dellamore
Demons II
Halloween
I Drink Your Blood
Sleepaway Camp II
Carrie
Theater of Blood


So, if any one sees anything on there that they want to watch, or has any suggestions, please let me know so I can set it aside for your viewing pleasure.

In other horror related news, there is a bootleg of the Friday the 13th remake trailer out, and it can be found HERE. It actually looks pretty encouraging...until maybe you get to the part where Michael Bay's name pops up.

I also really want to see the new French horror movie Martyrs. It looks really good, and is actually rated 18 in France. That may not mean a whole lot to you, but Haute Tension was rated 16 in France, so I am expected some mondo violence from this one. As I recall, it made a pretty big splash at Cannes. Check out the trailer:

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Clip of the Week

Old Greg!



Watch out for that downstairs mix-up!

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Top 35 List of the Week

Top 35 Horror Movies of the Eighties


35. The Dead Pit
34. Cannibal Apocalypse
33. Night of the Demons
32. House
31. Poltergeist
30. Demons
29. Texas Chainsaw Massacre II
28. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II
27. Sleepaway Camp
26. Fright Night
25. The Prowler
24. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
23. The Monster Squad
22. The Lost Boys
21. Return of the Living Dead
20. Creepshow
19. Prince of Darkness
18. The Burning
17. The Hitcher
16. City of the Living Dead
15. The Slumber Party Massacre
14. Near Dark
13. Night of the Creeps
12. Halloween II
11. An American Werewolf in London
10. From Beyond
9. Evil Dead
8. Friday the 13th Part II
7. Day of the Dead
6. The Beyond
5. A Nightmare on Elm St
4. The Shining
3. Re-Animator
2. Evil Dead II
1. The Thing

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Clip of the Week

Chainsaw Maid

This really makes me want to start animating.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Bro Rape

''

Been a while since I've seen this one. I guess Derrick Comedy has all but stopped making skits. It doesn't really matter, this was their peak anyway.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Clip of the Week

G.I. Joe: The Movie's Opening Sequence



Probably my favorite of all the Joe opening sequences, this one was made specifically for 1987's straight-to-video G.I. Joe: The Movie.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Dark Knight

A Mini Review
Last night Ally and I went to the late showing of The Dark Knight (which, for my money, is the best time to see this one). I was skeptical, expecting a good movie for sure, but not an epic on par with Heat. Perhaps that's too strong, it's not really as good as Heat, but it feels like it is because it's a superhero movie done right. Now, I didn't pull Heat out of my butt either, that's the movie that Nolan modeled his second Batfilm after, so there ya go. I will say, it does suffer a bit from not being rated R. I have struggled with this though, on if it would be better or not to go balls out, R-rated violence in this one (steering clear of language and nudity, for sure), and I think that yes it would. That said, an R-rating is not keeping with the spirit of Batman from the comics, but would work for this particular picture which stars the nutbag protagonist in it.

Part of The Dark Knight's charm is that it is, oddly, an ensemble piece. Batman (the book) is known for its rogue's gallery of interesting, if odd, villains. With this in mind, its not such a weird choice, but still, it's a movie for crying out loud! In the movies the lead character is the lead character! And, if ever there was a lead character, it's The Batman. But, Nolan hit the nail on the head, giving equal screen time to the Bat, The Joker, and the duo of Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes. I would have preferred a little more on screen time for Jim Gordon, but that would have pushed the run time from two and a half to three hours.

Of course, I have to talk about Heath Ledger's portrayl of The Joker. There are no bones about it, he is phenomenal. Yes, surpassing Jack Nicholson (and Cesar Romero). I enjoyed the fact that Nolan, for the most part, decided to shy away from an origin story. The first time we see Ledger's Joker, all we know about him is that he looks like the most horryfing clown this side of Tim Curry. Ledger played the character with a subtlety that Nicholson lacked. Don't get me wrong, I dug Jack...a lot. I didn't think he would be topped, becuase, let's face it, the man is really insane. But Ledger nailed what the Joker should be like for Nolan. He was twitchy and psychotic, he wasn't funny at all. His jokes were awkward and only funny to him, sorta like Galen, but that's what made it so great.

The only real problem I see with the movie is (and SPOILERS AHEAD, mind you) is the short shrift given to Two Face. Nolan spends two hours building up the Harvey Dent (played admirably by Aaron Eckhart, by the by) character, and setting him up as the counterpiece to Batman, but then blows his load two hours into the movie by unveiling and (possibly) killing him off! What's that? For my money, Dent was a fine character that would have been able to easily make it through a movie and a half before having to rely on turning him in to Two Face to switch things up a bit. But, that's just me.

Overall, this is Batman done right. Batman Begins was a small step in the right direction, The Dark Knight bounds in to at least a tie for the best of all Batman movies (wtih Burton's 1989 effort). Seriously, for your sake, see this one in the theater at night.

8.0/10

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Clip of the Week

Mortal Kombat vs DC



That's right. MK vs DC. Who woulda thunk it?

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Star Wars Video Game Retrospective


These dudes have taken it upon themselves to actually go through and chronicle every single Star Wars videogame...



Now, that's only the first episode. There are currently six, and more to follow. And, Mr. Thunderchunks, pay close attention at about the sixteen minute mark of episode two.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Monday, July 7, 2008

Clip of the Week

Rowdy Roddy is Nuts



I mean it, the dude is bonkers.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, July 4, 2008

The 'Choke Turns One!


One Year Anniversary


That's right, kiddies, not only is today Independence Day, but it is also the one year anniversary of your favorite blog. With the fan base growing so much, I thought I had to come up with a nice graphic to memorialize this occasion:



Keep on 'Chokin.
- Jordan M.
Silver Stuns, TX

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Upcoming Games

There are a whole lot of promising video games that are getting ready to come out, and it's time to count down the top ten best looking ones:

10. Star Wars: The Clone Wars Light Saber Duels - 11/08 - I am really not sure what this one is all about, but it has "Light Saber Duels" in the title and it's on the Wii, so that's promising.

9. MLB Power Pros 2008 - Wii - 7/28/08 - Powero Pros 2007 was really fun on the Wii, but lacked a lot of depth in the "Wiimote" mode. Apparently they have fixed a lot of issues for 2008, so this one is supposed to be good.

8. Ghostbusters: The Video Game - Multi Platform - 10/08 - This game was rumored for so long that I have to put it on the list. The in-game footage looks pretty slick to me.

7. Fable 2 - Xbox 360 - 10/08 - The sequel to Fable (natch), this is supposedly the game that Fable was supposed to be...with primitive guns!

6. Fallout 3 - Xbox 360 - 10/08 - To be honest, I have never played a fall out game, but the trailer makes me want to be a better man.

5. Left 4Dead - Xbox 360 - 11/08 - Co-op zombie-bustin' fun, I am always down for new zombie franchises, and Left for Dead looks very promising. It's from Valve, and the multiplayer sounds to be Counterstrike-ishly innovative.

4. Street Fighter IV - Mult Platform - TBA 2009 - That's right, it's a new entry in the Street Fighter saga. What took so long? Who knows, but this game should be sweet.

3. Call of Duty 5: World at War - Multi Platform - 11/08 - With Call of Duty 4 being so awesome, part five has to be on the list. This time, we are going back to the big WWII in World at War.

2. Resident Evil 5 - Xbox 360 - TBA 2009 - It's Resident Evil and the NAACP already wants to boycott it. Why? Because black people are portrayed as zombies, I guess. In parts one, two, and three all the zombies are white people, but I never complained. Anyway, the game looks phenomenal.

1. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - Multi Platform - 9/16/08 - I plan to buy this game on three different platforms, I am that excited about it. This looks cream your jeans good. I can't wait to try this puppy out on the Wii!

You can check all these out at IGN.com.

- Jordamn
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Clip of the Week

Adam West/Burt Ward Screen Test!

Check it, you fanboys!



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Monday, June 30, 2008

Joe Con 2008

Yoooo Jooooeee!

Well, fair reader, you may be wondering just how big of a geek your humble author is. I'll tell you. Yesterday I went to Joe Con '08. That's right, it's a GI Joe convention. And I loved it.

(click on the pics below to see them EVENNNN BIGGGERRR!)



Joe Con has been around for ten years, and, as an avid reader of YoJoe.com, I had always looked at the pictures of it and marvelled, never knowing exactly what the hell it was. This past weekend, for the first time ever, Joe Con came to Dallas (well, Frisco, if you want to get technical). It was super exciting.


Basically, Joe Con is a flea market. You pay ten bucks and they let you in the door to buy stuff. All of these vendors have booths set up, chock full of Joe gear (and, often, other random toys). And you can bet your ass I did my fair share of frivelous spending. They had most of the figures and vehicles that I hand when I was a kid, and all the ones that I always wanted when I was kid. My haul ended up looking like this: a complete H.A.V.O.C., a bare bones Rattler, a re-release two pack of Ripper and Torch, the 25th Anniversary GI Joe Battle Pack, the official convention tee shirt, and these figures (loose and incomplete): Ripper, Wild Bill, Alpine, and Blowtorch.



In what was probably the coolest part of the convention, they did have on display both fan-made custom Joes and an assortment of new Joes from Hasbro that will be out later this year. For my money, the fan customs were the best part of the whole convention. These nerdy (and I use that term lovingly) created Joes to look like Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, or just off the wall weird stuff. Some created entire diorama's with their creations. Over to the left of this text is a picture of a custom made Nemesis Enforcer, that I found particularly captivating.

Over to the right, we have the grand prize diorama of The Arashikage dining. I talked with the guy who made this, and he seemed very passionate
about his work. I'll tell ya, that sounds really geeky, but it's pretty darn cool. I'm not really sure what you win if you get first place, but that blue ribbon is a first place ribbon. CLICK HERE to see another of creation from the same guy.

Of course, one of the main points of the entire convention was to promote the upcoming Gi Joe movie (Summer - 2009). While I cannot vouch for the movie, I will say that Snake Eyes (Ray Park) looks absolutely, positively badass. The cast is certain an odd bunch, with, what would seem like a lot of miscastings. Brendan Frasier as Gung Ho, Marlon Wayons as Ripcord, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the kid from Third Rock) as COBRA COMMANDER!!! But, what good is it going to do to complain?

SNAKE EYES FROM THE UPCOMING JOE MOVIEAt one point, I had heard they had Larry Hama on board to at least develop the story. If that doesn't mean much to you, let me just say that Hama is godlike amongst Joe fanboys. Sadly though, I don't see his name anywhere on the IMDb page, so I guess it was either a rumor or "they" didn't like his story.

The film is directed by Stephen Sommers, director or such classics as The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and Van Helsing. Yeah. Anyway, that kind of gives a hint at how they want to play it. I'm sure it will be played fairly straight, but with a few nice in-jokes and a couple of winks at the camera. That's not bad at all...but Stephen Sommers? Really? Is this the best we could do? Eghhh.

Anyway, Joe Con was a fun experience, and hopefully it'll be back in Texas next year.


- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

PS. BTW go watch WALL-E, you'll be gladjoodid.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

I LOVE YOU BUT I'VE CHOSEN DARKNESS
Top Ten Band Names

These may not all be bands that I like, but they all have one thing in common: kick ass names. These are names that really stick in your head and make you say "yeahhhhh...", know what I mean. 'Course you do. Here they come:

10. Meat Puppets
9. The Dandy Warhols
8. My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult
7. A Tribe Called Quest
6. Gnarls Barkley
5. The Dead Kennedys
4. Eagles of Death Metal
3. The Velvet Underground
2. I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
1. ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of the Dead


And, for my own amusement, some runners-up:
Boy Hits Car, The Band, Texas is the Reason, Circa Survive, Something for Kate, Cocteau Twins , God Lives Underwater, Grateful Dead, Nerf Herder, Joy Divison

Well, looking at the list, I probably could have just gone with "top ten longest band names" and it would have been about the same list...eh, what the hell.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Baseball Prediction Time

MIDSEASON BASEBALL TALK


Ah, gentle reader, let me tell you of my travels. My trusty sidekick, Steve, and I have just recently returned from our trip to the mecca of everything baseball, Chitown, USA. Wrigleyville was something of a religious experience for me, reaffirming the fact that baseball is still alive and well in the conciousness of America...and it also reaffirmed that everyone from the southside is a knucklehead.

Anyway, the All Star break is almost upon us (by the way, I advise you to go to www.texasrangers.com and vote 25 times -- with The Rangers in the "favorite team" slot -- to score yourself some free tix to some games in August) and it's time for me to make some bold predictions, using conjecture based on one half of the season, and my expectations for the next half. It's been a pretty wild season, but, as a certain J.P. Newman and I have figured out, we have said that for about the past five seasons of Major League Baseball.

SILVER SLUGGERS:

AL Designated Hitter: Milton Bradley (if he gets enough ABs as DH)
AL Catcher: Joe Mauer
AL First Base: Kevin Youkillis
AL Second Base: Ian Kinsler
AL Short Stop: Michael Young
AL Third Base: Alex Rodriguez
AL Outfield: Ichiro
AL Outfield: Josh Hamilton
AL Outfield: Jermaine Dye

NL Pitcher: Carlos Zambrano
NL Catcher: Brian McCann
NL First Base: Lance Berkman
NL Second Base: Chase Utley
NL Short Stop: Hanley Ramirez
NL Third Base: Chipper Jones
NL Outfield: Nate McLouth
NL Outfield: Ryan Braun
NL Outfield: Matt Holliday

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR:
AL: David Murphy
NL: Geovany Soto

MVP:
AL: Josh Hamilton
NL: Lance Berkman

CY YOUNG:
AL: Cliff Lee
NL: Edinson Volquez



I may get a chance to list off Gold Glovers later on, but for now...

...Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Clip of the Week

Texas Rangers Slip N Slide




Those Rangers like to have themselves some fun!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Two Entries, Two Places, Same idiot.

"I guess one thing is certain. Things do change. Time in an inconsistent consistency that I carry as an unbearable load on my shoulders. How does one plan for certain uncertainty? How does one change what will change itself? My mind cannot reason the need for myself in "ministry", or reason the need for life at all. As I look at the past 23 years of mistakes and accomplishments could they have not been switched and could I have not severely failed at what I accomplished and and accomplish what I failed and still be the same person who I am? Can you change who you are with the things you have and have not done? I think not. Self cannot be defined merely by what you do or don't, but who you are truly are as a whole. My misses or my hits, they are indifferent now to the character which was given to me at birth. Indifference. Such a wonderful word to describe what one does not become but one understands then accepts. I am indifferent to that which has become indifferent to me. Life." Sept 3, 2005

"What is it about a cool cafe that makes me feel smart? As if the book and cup of coffee or tea gives out that aura of satisfaction that I do not possess anywhere else. Perhaps I look like an intellectual poser hoping to have a deep conversation with another poser about god, or man's purpose, or another topic related to and held by the intellectuals only. "Look at me and my copy of 'Confessions'. I am deep and sophisticated and incredibly well read." I don't even own a copy of 'Confessions', but rather I remove the dust cover of my Purpose Driven Life book to seem more "real". What a joke! What an incredible joke image makes of us. Let me suck in my stomach and keep my eyes slightly shut to resemble in deep thought. What an attraction I must be for someone who can read minds. I would follow myself around gasping for air and clutching my sides for the deep bellowing laughter I would cause. I wish I knew the thoughts of everyone. What a wonderful event is probably taking place inside the minds of those around me now.

Someone just walked in and I sucked in my gut. It is completely involuntary reaction now. I wonder if I was to awake tomorrow with abs and a chiseled torso if I would innately suck in my belly without thought. Probably."- Nov 18, 2004

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

=w=


Weezer is in my top five favorite bands. Not top five favorite bands of the nineties, or top five bands to listen to in the summertime or something. They are in my top five bands ever. It is for this reason, and the fact that they have a new record coming out, The Red Album (see photo - left), that I am dedicating this post to the weezingest band around.

First thing's first. We need to talk about the new record. I don't know anything about it, other than the fact that that cover art is supposedly the real deal. I really kind of hope it is, cause that's awesome. I have heard the new single, Pork and Beans (go here to listen), and it is less than impressive, it's kind of like another Beverly Hills. A track listing has been released, and it looks like this:

01 "Troublemaker"
02 "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)"
03 "Pork and Beans"
04 Heart Songs"
05 "Everybody Get Dangerous"
06 "Dreamin'"
07 "Thought I Knew"
08 "Cold Dark World"
09 "Automatic"
10 "The Angel and the One"

Bonus tracks for the Deluxe Edition:

11 "Miss Sweeney"
12 "Pig"
13 "The Spider"
14 "King"

Apparently the record is set for release (still on Geffen) on 6/24/08. I'll be picking it up.



Now it is time to get down to business. This is my list of all time, top ten Weezer songs. I hope you can dig it:

10. Jamie
9. O Girlfriend
8. Tired of Sex
7. Slob
6. Freak Me Out
5. Why Bother?
4. Undone: The Sweater Song
3. In the Garage
2. The Good Life
1. Say it Ain't So




Weezer - Buddy Holly


Weezer - Undone: The Sweater Song


Weezer - Say it Ain't So


Weezer - El Scorcho


Weezer - The Good Life


Weezer - Island in the Sun


Weezer - Photograph


Weezer - Dope Nose


Weezer - Hash Pipe


Weezer - Keep Fishin'


Weezer - Beverly Hills


Weezer - Perfect Situation


Weezer - We Are All on Drugs


Deftones - Say it Ain't So Cover


Weezer - Cover of Big Me by the Foo Fighters

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Perhaps I should say something...

In the past I carried a small journal with me. In fact, often I carried blank journals, and simply desired to write in them. Today, I picked up a small moleskin journal and placed it in my back pocket. It has been blank for a three weeks, since I found it at the bottom of my console in my car while searching desperately for a square. Coming home from shopping I was pulling keys and such out of my pockets and placing them on my night stand, and realized that I had again pulled out the empty journal and set it on my night stand. It is odd that I carry it. It was odd that I carried close to 15 journals. I know that it is close to 15 because I am looking at over half of them in front of me right this moment. Some leather, some nicely bound, and yet some are simply classgear composition books. Perhaps I should open them, and relive them with somebody. And nobody is better than you.

Journal- Black faded Classgear Composition book. Water damaged, and held together with a dried out rubberband. It broke when I took it off.

First Entry: "Ideas"

-An idea is the complex thought the mind dances with for a moment, be it long or short. The dance with "what could be" is the satisfying feeling of adventure left untouched, unscathed by the reality which is life. Ideas contain both images of creativity and imagination. Nothing short of mental inventions which far exceed the actual inventions of man-made constructions. Perhaps and idea is so grand it could not be one's abilities. Perhaps and idea is grand that its production or completion would cause such a change in the world its impossibility and absurdity cause its very nonexistence. But these ideas or not those ideas. These ideas are collections of "brain farts". The "fart" is such a misunderstood glorious creation of the body that is misviewed as vile. The miracles that occur in each person's body which produce the brief explosion are completely forgotten. Such as with the "brain fart" The miracles of the brain working in a way to create thought are completely discarded when these ideas are spoken. Here are some more ideas.

Logan

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Clip of the Week

La Jetee

Well, I am back. Since last we met, I have moved to a new house, started grad school, and obtained a new job. Yes, the times they are a changin' for Jordan M., but don't think that I've matured any. No chance. I don't actually have a whole lot for you today, just a good ol' clip of the week.

Today's clip is a short film by the enigmatic French film-maker Chris Marker called La Jetee. It is comprised entirely of still shots. You may recognize some of it, but that's because this is the film that would, years later, inspire Terry Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX
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