Monday, June 30, 2008

Joe Con 2008

Yoooo Jooooeee!

Well, fair reader, you may be wondering just how big of a geek your humble author is. I'll tell you. Yesterday I went to Joe Con '08. That's right, it's a GI Joe convention. And I loved it.

(click on the pics below to see them EVENNNN BIGGGERRR!)

Joe Con has been around for ten years, and, as an avid reader of, I had always looked at the pictures of it and marvelled, never knowing exactly what the hell it was. This past weekend, for the first time ever, Joe Con came to Dallas (well, Frisco, if you want to get technical). It was super exciting.

Basically, Joe Con is a flea market. You pay ten bucks and they let you in the door to buy stuff. All of these vendors have booths set up, chock full of Joe gear (and, often, other random toys). And you can bet your ass I did my fair share of frivelous spending. They had most of the figures and vehicles that I hand when I was a kid, and all the ones that I always wanted when I was kid. My haul ended up looking like this: a complete H.A.V.O.C., a bare bones Rattler, a re-release two pack of Ripper and Torch, the 25th Anniversary GI Joe Battle Pack, the official convention tee shirt, and these figures (loose and incomplete): Ripper, Wild Bill, Alpine, and Blowtorch.

In what was probably the coolest part of the convention, they did have on display both fan-made custom Joes and an assortment of new Joes from Hasbro that will be out later this year. For my money, the fan customs were the best part of the whole convention. These nerdy (and I use that term lovingly) created Joes to look like Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, or just off the wall weird stuff. Some created entire diorama's with their creations. Over to the left of this text is a picture of a custom made Nemesis Enforcer, that I found particularly captivating.

Over to the right, we have the grand prize diorama of The Arashikage dining. I talked with the guy who made this, and he seemed very passionate
about his work. I'll tell ya, that sounds really geeky, but it's pretty darn cool. I'm not really sure what you win if you get first place, but that blue ribbon is a first place ribbon. CLICK HERE to see another of creation from the same guy.

Of course, one of the main points of the entire convention was to promote the upcoming Gi Joe movie (Summer - 2009). While I cannot vouch for the movie, I will say that Snake Eyes (Ray Park) looks absolutely, positively badass. The cast is certain an odd bunch, with, what would seem like a lot of miscastings. Brendan Frasier as Gung Ho, Marlon Wayons as Ripcord, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the kid from Third Rock) as COBRA COMMANDER!!! But, what good is it going to do to complain?

SNAKE EYES FROM THE UPCOMING JOE MOVIEAt one point, I had heard they had Larry Hama on board to at least develop the story. If that doesn't mean much to you, let me just say that Hama is godlike amongst Joe fanboys. Sadly though, I don't see his name anywhere on the IMDb page, so I guess it was either a rumor or "they" didn't like his story.

The film is directed by Stephen Sommers, director or such classics as The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and Van Helsing. Yeah. Anyway, that kind of gives a hint at how they want to play it. I'm sure it will be played fairly straight, but with a few nice in-jokes and a couple of winks at the camera. That's not bad at all...but Stephen Sommers? Really? Is this the best we could do? Eghhh.

Anyway, Joe Con was a fun experience, and hopefully it'll be back in Texas next year.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

PS. BTW go watch WALL-E, you'll be gladjoodid.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Band Names

These may not all be bands that I like, but they all have one thing in common: kick ass names. These are names that really stick in your head and make you say "yeahhhhh...", know what I mean. 'Course you do. Here they come:

10. Meat Puppets
9. The Dandy Warhols
8. My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult
7. A Tribe Called Quest
6. Gnarls Barkley
5. The Dead Kennedys
4. Eagles of Death Metal
3. The Velvet Underground
2. I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
1. ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of the Dead

And, for my own amusement, some runners-up:
Boy Hits Car, The Band, Texas is the Reason, Circa Survive, Something for Kate, Cocteau Twins , God Lives Underwater, Grateful Dead, Nerf Herder, Joy Divison

Well, looking at the list, I probably could have just gone with "top ten longest band names" and it would have been about the same, what the hell.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Baseball Prediction Time


Ah, gentle reader, let me tell you of my travels. My trusty sidekick, Steve, and I have just recently returned from our trip to the mecca of everything baseball, Chitown, USA. Wrigleyville was something of a religious experience for me, reaffirming the fact that baseball is still alive and well in the conciousness of America...and it also reaffirmed that everyone from the southside is a knucklehead.

Anyway, the All Star break is almost upon us (by the way, I advise you to go to and vote 25 times -- with The Rangers in the "favorite team" slot -- to score yourself some free tix to some games in August) and it's time for me to make some bold predictions, using conjecture based on one half of the season, and my expectations for the next half. It's been a pretty wild season, but, as a certain J.P. Newman and I have figured out, we have said that for about the past five seasons of Major League Baseball.


AL Designated Hitter: Milton Bradley (if he gets enough ABs as DH)
AL Catcher: Joe Mauer
AL First Base: Kevin Youkillis
AL Second Base: Ian Kinsler
AL Short Stop: Michael Young
AL Third Base: Alex Rodriguez
AL Outfield: Ichiro
AL Outfield: Josh Hamilton
AL Outfield: Jermaine Dye

NL Pitcher: Carlos Zambrano
NL Catcher: Brian McCann
NL First Base: Lance Berkman
NL Second Base: Chase Utley
NL Short Stop: Hanley Ramirez
NL Third Base: Chipper Jones
NL Outfield: Nate McLouth
NL Outfield: Ryan Braun
NL Outfield: Matt Holliday

AL: David Murphy
NL: Geovany Soto

AL: Josh Hamilton
NL: Lance Berkman

AL: Cliff Lee
NL: Edinson Volquez

I may get a chance to list off Gold Glovers later on, but for now...

...Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Clip of the Week

Texas Rangers Slip N Slide

Those Rangers like to have themselves some fun!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Two Entries, Two Places, Same idiot.

"I guess one thing is certain. Things do change. Time in an inconsistent consistency that I carry as an unbearable load on my shoulders. How does one plan for certain uncertainty? How does one change what will change itself? My mind cannot reason the need for myself in "ministry", or reason the need for life at all. As I look at the past 23 years of mistakes and accomplishments could they have not been switched and could I have not severely failed at what I accomplished and and accomplish what I failed and still be the same person who I am? Can you change who you are with the things you have and have not done? I think not. Self cannot be defined merely by what you do or don't, but who you are truly are as a whole. My misses or my hits, they are indifferent now to the character which was given to me at birth. Indifference. Such a wonderful word to describe what one does not become but one understands then accepts. I am indifferent to that which has become indifferent to me. Life." Sept 3, 2005

"What is it about a cool cafe that makes me feel smart? As if the book and cup of coffee or tea gives out that aura of satisfaction that I do not possess anywhere else. Perhaps I look like an intellectual poser hoping to have a deep conversation with another poser about god, or man's purpose, or another topic related to and held by the intellectuals only. "Look at me and my copy of 'Confessions'. I am deep and sophisticated and incredibly well read." I don't even own a copy of 'Confessions', but rather I remove the dust cover of my Purpose Driven Life book to seem more "real". What a joke! What an incredible joke image makes of us. Let me suck in my stomach and keep my eyes slightly shut to resemble in deep thought. What an attraction I must be for someone who can read minds. I would follow myself around gasping for air and clutching my sides for the deep bellowing laughter I would cause. I wish I knew the thoughts of everyone. What a wonderful event is probably taking place inside the minds of those around me now.

Someone just walked in and I sucked in my gut. It is completely involuntary reaction now. I wonder if I was to awake tomorrow with abs and a chiseled torso if I would innately suck in my belly without thought. Probably."- Nov 18, 2004
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