Monday, May 4, 2009

Films from the Crypt: Episode 4 - Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

Films from the Crypt: Episode 4 - Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

Tagline: "In a bowling alley from Hell, there's only one way to score..."

Director: David DeCoteau

View the TRAILER

Starring: Linnea Quigley, Andras Jones, Dukey Flyswatter

Those of us who are legitimate horror-files know that there are two types of bad movies in the genre world. The first is the type that you trudge through, begrudgingly, just so that once it's over you can chalk up one more to your resume. The second is the type that is bad with flair, what some would call "so bad it's good". And, I am a sucker for these kinds of movies. Movies with enough bravado, cache, or unintentional camp to keep me locked in even though they are terrible. These types of films are best watched in groups. Troll 2, The Car, The Last Slumber Party, and Cobra fall into this category, and so does our latest film from the crypt, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is pretty much just what it sounds like. A harmless, low budget horror flick with a barely passable story, and some t & a.

The film starts off with three young collegiate men as they sit and their dorm room, drinking beer, looking at porno mags, and watching Creepozoids on the boob tube. As they toss around witty banter, one of the young men exclaims how he knows where a sorority is hosting their initiation tonight! This happens to be in their sorority house, good job gumshoe.

The guys go to the sorority house and watch as all of the three members of the sorority spank the two newbies to initiate them. Of course the pledges are dressed in nothing but t-shirts and panties. After spanking the girls for what seems like ten minutes, the sorority girls spray them with whipped cream! Crazy. Unfortunately, now the newbies are all icky with whipped cream and have to go take a shower upstairs. No strangers to danger, our young heroes travel up stairs, undaunted, to sneak a peak at the young co-eds in the buff. Babs, the evilish leader of the sorority catches them and, as punishment, makes the whole lot them (pledges included) sneak in to a bowling alley to steal a trophy.

There's a little bit more plot (very little) that I'm not going to divulge here, but what it boils down to is the gang runs in to a thief named Spider (the tasty Linnea Quigley) and unwittingly release an imp that looks more like a rejected muppet design, from his bowling tropy prison. Once the imp is free, all hell breaks loose, and the gang has to try and figure out how to escape from the clutches of the evil Uncle Impie (Dukey Flyswatter).

The dialogue really brings down the house. When the kids startle Spider as she's trying to break into a cash register, this is a bit of the conversation that ensues:

Spider: What is this, Midnight Wimp Bowling League?
Taffy: Who are you? The Bride of Dracula?
Spider: Oooo. Jump back. Prom queen on the loose. Or is it high school hookers?

What is it supposed to mean? I'm not really sure, but a lot of this movie is that way. There's an entire character, the janitor, whose whole job is just to make stupid remarks like "tighter than a nun's c**t" and then die. I really don't know why the character even made it on to the screen.

Clocking in at 80 minutes, Sorority Babes is what my roomate called "mercifully short", just as the movie begins to starts to wear on you a little bit, it ends. And I don't mind telling you that the ending is just as crappy as the beginning. And I also don't mind telling you if you are watching it alone, and just want to get through to see if Linnea Quigley ever shows some skin, don't bother because she doesn't. Go rent Return of the Living Dead for that. But, if you are looking to kill some time and have a couple of dudes coming over to the house with some beers, put down your copy of There Will Be Blood, and pickup your copy of Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (and with a title like that, how could you resist?).

You can pick up the unimpressive DVD release for around $10 on Amazon.

4/10 (for the sheer fun of it)

Interesting Trivia: In Static-X's song "I'm With Stupid", Linnea Quigley's line from the movie "Yeah, it was...very stupid." is sampled.

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