Friday, April 10, 2009
From Gi Joe: The Rise of Cobra
So, recently there have been some action figures from the upcoming film Gi Joe: The Rise of Cobra popping up on eBay, not the least disturbing of which is this Cobra Commander figure. Look, I didn't freak out when I heard that my beloved bafoon was going to be played by 3rd Rock From the Sun's Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I didn't get mad when I found out that Larry Hama was no longer attached to the picture in any way, shape, or form. But this? Really, this is the best they could do for Cobra Commander?
I assumed they would go for the easy way with the classic blue hood. Maybe they thought that was too "Klan-ish", who knows. But what about the metal face-plate? Couldn't they at least have gone that route? For the love of everything unholy, he looks like some kind of retarded scuba diver here! He is absolutely unidentifiable as Cobra Commander. Hollywood is really testing my patience on this one.
And what's with the guns that the figure comes with? Is that a rocket launcher that shoots green lazer beams? Some kind of reject accessory from the Eco Warriors line? And on the photograph to the left of the figure, it looks like he's got some kind of futuristic cutting torch. This really worries me.