Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Films of the 2000's

This week's top ten list chronicles the best horror movies of the 21st century, so enjoy.

10. 28 Days Later (2002) - While I still don't defend 28 Days Later as a zombie movie, I don't have any problem deeming it the tenth best horror flick of the last eight years. Boyle's direction is superb and the acting is downright great. The only major flaw is that the story is complete retread pap.

9. Cabin Fever (2002) - Screw you, this movie is good. Cabin Fever is an infectiously original horror tale set in a *gasp* a cabin in the woods. The whole story revolves around a disease that eventually starts taking over the residents of said cabin. It's nowhere near the first viral horror film, but it stays fresh, becoming almost a slasher movie with no slasher, merely a disgusting, skineating disease!

8. Jisatsu Saakuru (Suicide Club) (2002) - Surprisingly the only Japaneses film to make my list, Suicide Club is a crazily surreal mystery story filled with bloodsoaked carnage. You remember that scene in Hostel where the chick jumps in front of a train? Totally cribbed from Suicide Club. Anyway, just watch it.

7. Session 9 (2001) - A generally undiscovered gem, Brad Anderson's (Happy Accidents, Transsiberian) Session 9 is a thrilling ghost-mystery film, putting a new film on the haunted building (in this case, a mental institution) formula. Overall, the chills here are more psychological and keep you on the edge of your seat.

6. Slither (2006) - From the mind of former Tromaville resident James Gunn comes a wickedly funny B-movie in the tradition of Night of the Creeps. Slither stars Henry himself, Michael Rooker, as Grant Grant, the guy that eventually becomes the host for some strange alien creature that really likes to eat. Check it out, some great laughs!

5. Grindhouse (Deathproof/Planet Terror) (2007) - Yeah, we are putting both films together. Tarantino and Rodriguez came together with a very solid one-two punch with Grindhouse. Of course, the entire thing is homage (that is the whole concept behind it). Luckily, this homage is crafted by two expert film-makers!

4. Haute Tension (High Tension) (2003) - The French are really starting to make a name for themselves in the horror community with stuff like Inside and Frontiere(s), but it seems like it can all be traced back to Alexander Aja and his crimson-soaked (almost) masterpiece Haute Tension. I'll be the first to admit it, I don't like the ending either. I found it just as trtie as you did. But the rest of the film, my goodness, keeps the red stuff coming. And Jordan likey.

3. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Another film that is conceptually an homage (in case you are extremely uninformed, the name is a riff on Dawn of the Dead), and is gut-bustingly funny in execution. Shaun of the Dead keeps the gore at a hard R, but still manages to be bitingly funny (much funnier than anything Peter Jackson did, I must say).

2. American Psycho (2000) - You say what you will, but American Psycho is a straight up exploitation film in the mold of all my favorites. Forget the ambiguity of the ending, and focus on the whacked out, twistedness of the film. I'm not suggested Patrcik Bateman is a role model, but you could do worse.

1. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) - Don Coscarelli makes weird movies (almost exclusively Phantasms and Beastmasters), and Bubba Ho-Tep is no exception. This hilarious B-movie pits Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell's old-ass Elvis Presley and Ossie Davis' JFK (yep) against an ancient mummy in a showdown at a retirement home. Yeah, that's the plot. As ridiculous as that sounds, the laughs keep rolling, especially thanks to Campbell and Davis' great turns as the deceased historical figures. Great campy fun.

EDIT 10/17: I am not going to re-edit this whole list, but watching the 2007 Spanish horror film [Rec] really makes me want to. It is phenomenal and would probably bump down Grindhouse. Watch it!


- Bride of Jordanstein
Sulphur Springs, TX

Happy October

Oktoberfest!

That's right boos and ghouls, it's October. That glorious month filled with frights, freaks, and playoff baseball. I am supremely excited in every way. I kicking off my October horror marathon today and am hoping to catch three straight playoff baseball games on TBSHD. Oh, what a day. That's really all I have for now.

- "Deranged" Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs,TX

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Clip of the Week

The Mascot

This is the first part of The Mascot, a film by Wladyslaw Starewicz, one of the greatest pioneers of stop motion animation. It was originally released in 1934. If you like it, check out the other two parts. Enjoy.




- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Unforgivable



Sorry it's late, all you loyal readers.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Horror! The Horror!

A Journey in to the Macabre

My favorite month, October, is almost here. I love it. October means horror DVD specials, coustumes and blood capsules at the store, and increased amounts of horror on the boob tube! It's my kind of month, but I really need to get prepared this year. Two years ago, I made it my goal to watch 31 horror movies in the month of October, and I actually was able to pull it off. Here's the 2006 list:

The House on Sorority Row
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Near Dark
Descent
Dracula
Mountain of the Cannibal God
Dead Birds
Hellraiser
House Where Evil Dwells
Night of the Demons
Zombi 3
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Friday the 13th Part 2
Friday the 13th Part III
Needful Things
Shaun of the Dead
Splatter University
Fright Night
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
Re-Animator
Night of the Creeps
Halloween
Storm of the Century
Halloween II
Slither
Trauma
New Nightmare
An American Haunting,
The Night Stalker
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Zombie Honeymoon


However, last year, I was only able to watch a paltry six. SIX! Here's the 2007 list:

The Dead Zone
Zombi 2
Army of Darkness
The Last Slumber Party
Graveyard Shift
Cheerleader Massacre



This has to be remedied. This year, I am making it my goal to watch 32 horror movies in the month of October. That's right, to hell with the calender, I'm gonna do one better. Anyway, consider this an open invitation (assuming I personally know, and like, you) to come over anytime during the month of October this year and horror it up with me. I don't have any itinerary or anything, but I do have a few on my want-to-watch-list, and, as luck would have it, I own most of them. So, here are a few that I am thinking about:

Lucker: The Necrophagous
Inside
Night of the Demons II
13 Game of Death
Dellamorte, Dellamore
Demons II
Halloween
I Drink Your Blood
Sleepaway Camp II
Carrie
Theater of Blood


So, if any one sees anything on there that they want to watch, or has any suggestions, please let me know so I can set it aside for your viewing pleasure.

In other horror related news, there is a bootleg of the Friday the 13th remake trailer out, and it can be found HERE. It actually looks pretty encouraging...until maybe you get to the part where Michael Bay's name pops up.

I also really want to see the new French horror movie Martyrs. It looks really good, and is actually rated 18 in France. That may not mean a whole lot to you, but Haute Tension was rated 16 in France, so I am expected some mondo violence from this one. As I recall, it made a pretty big splash at Cannes. Check out the trailer:

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Clip of the Week

Old Greg!



Watch out for that downstairs mix-up!

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Top 35 List of the Week

Top 35 Horror Movies of the Eighties


35. The Dead Pit
34. Cannibal Apocalypse
33. Night of the Demons
32. House
31. Poltergeist
30. Demons
29. Texas Chainsaw Massacre II
28. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II
27. Sleepaway Camp
26. Fright Night
25. The Prowler
24. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
23. The Monster Squad
22. The Lost Boys
21. Return of the Living Dead
20. Creepshow
19. Prince of Darkness
18. The Burning
17. The Hitcher
16. City of the Living Dead
15. The Slumber Party Massacre
14. Near Dark
13. Night of the Creeps
12. Halloween II
11. An American Werewolf in London
10. From Beyond
9. Evil Dead
8. Friday the 13th Part II
7. Day of the Dead
6. The Beyond
5. A Nightmare on Elm St
4. The Shining
3. Re-Animator
2. Evil Dead II
1. The Thing

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Clip of the Week

Chainsaw Maid

This really makes me want to start animating.



- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Bro Rape

''

Been a while since I've seen this one. I guess Derrick Comedy has all but stopped making skits. It doesn't really matter, this was their peak anyway.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Clip of the Week

G.I. Joe: The Movie's Opening Sequence



Probably my favorite of all the Joe opening sequences, this one was made specifically for 1987's straight-to-video G.I. Joe: The Movie.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs, TX
Olympic Artichoke banners designed by Whalehead

Email us: olympicartichoke@live.com