Monday, August 31, 2009

Films From the Crypt: Episode 7 - Shocker (1989)


Films from the Crypt: Episode 7 - Shocker (1989)

Tagline: "On October 2, at 6:45 AM mass murderer Horace Pinker was put to death. Now, he's really mad."

Director: Wes Craven

View the TRAILER ONLINE

Starring: Peter Berg, Mitch Pileggi, Michael Murphy

Wes Craven has definitely made very good films, and very bad films in his up and down career. But there is only one that has me so conflicted as to what to think about that I really don't even know whether I like it or not! And, it would appear that I am not the only person that is caught somewhere in the middle with this movie, check out the IMDb rating it's a 4.9.

SPOILERS AHEAD

The film starts out well enough, we find out that there is a maniacal serial killer on the loose that is offing entire families as they sleep via a newscast as delivered by John Tesh! After this, we are introduced to our hero, young Jonathan Parker (Berg), college football player and all around good guy. After suffering a concussion from running into a goalpost, Jonathan has a strange dream in which he witnesses the murder of his adoptive family at the hands of the serial killer (yes, that's right - dreams and a serial killer also figure prominently in another Wes Craven film).When Jonathan wakes up from his nightmare on his street, he finds out that his family actually has been massacred! DUN-NUH-NUH!

Okay, so, since Jonathan witnessed the murders via his dream, he is able to lead his father (a police officer) to the killer, the one-line-spittin', big-ass-knife-totin' Horace Pinker (played admirably by Walter Skinner himself, Mitch Pillegi). Blah-blah-blah they end up catching Pinker and putting him in the electric chair (evidently the wheels of justice work extra swiftly in this California town). Anyway, unfortunately for everyone involved, Pinker is some sort of practicing warlock or wizard or something and he is able to use a television set to harness some sort of electrical power or some shit. Anyway, long story short, when they electrocute him, Pinker gains the ability to go from body to body (like we'd later see in Fallen - minus the Rolling Stones) and use them for his own purposes.

Anyway you can see where it goes from there. People that Jonathan loves get Pinkerfied, Ted Raimi gets killed (natch), and there's a scene where Jonathan chases Pinker through TV shows. Wait, what? Yeah. That happens. In some weird twist of logic, Wes Craven decided that the best way to end the movie was by having Jonathan and Pinker get in a chase through cable channels (for instance, Jonathan ends up running along side of the Clever family's car). From there it gets even dumber, but I won't ruin that for you. Oh, yeah, and there's some unresolved question on whether Pinker is Jonathan's real father or not. And Jonathan's girfriend comes back from the dead as a protective ghost.

So, as you can see, I'm pretty fuckin' torn about this one. It is so ludicrous that you can't help but have a smile on your face when Mitch Pillegi says stuff like, "Come on, boy, let's take a ride in my Volts Wagon". Wow. It's like if they took The Indestructible Man and mixed it with a one of the latter day Nightmare on Elm St. films that have Freddy trying to act like he's Buddy Hackett.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it, then I would actually recommend that you take a look at it and try to determine for yourself. At the very least, it's worth watching for the soundtrack. The Dudes of Wrath are: Paul Stanley and producer Desmond Child both on vocals, Def Leppard's Vivian Campbell and Guy Mann-Dude on guitars, Whitesnake's Rudy Sarzo on bass guitar, and Mötley Crüe's Tommy Lee on drums. Also backing vocals by Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony & Kane Roberts. Hellz yeah.

5/10

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Upcoming Film Preview: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Upcoming Film Preview: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson, Danny Trejo, Sheri Moon Zombie, Bill Moseley
Country: USA
Release Date: 9/22 (Straight to DVD)
View the TRAILER

Plot synopsis: (from IMDb) Based on the comics of Rob Zombie, the story follows the adventures of El Superbeasto, a washed-up Mexican luchador, and his sultry sidekick and sister Suzi-X as they confront an evil villain by the name of Dr. Satan. The adventure, set in the mythic world of Monsterland, also has a character named Murray the robot

I'm not Zombie's biggest fan. In my opinion, his Halloween is absolute garbage and the only thing worth a damn that he's done, filmwise, is Devil's Rejects. However, I am excited to see what he does with this monster that has been in the works for years. The cast alone is super exciting, here's a rundown: Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson, Danny Trejo, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, Dee Wallace, Clint Howard, Harland Williams, Brian Posehn, Ken Foree, Tom Papa. Granted, this is not the first Zombie picture to house a cast that sounds like a horror fanboy's wet dream, but it still makes you want to see it.

Happy Birthday, Lovecraft

Here's to you, Howard Phillips, you crazy, dead bastard!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009

Michael Biehn

The Best of Michael Biehn

So, I was watching The Abyss last night, a classic no doubt, and it brought something to my attention that I hadn't really thought about before; If there is one man in the genre picture world that does not get near enough love, that man is Michael Biehn. You know him as Reese in The Terminator, Hicks in Aliens, and Johnny Ringo in Tombstone. Hell, those three roles alone have provided us with so much re-wathchability that they count as a lifetime's worth of work.

The man is a talent, and I was very glad to see him get at least some play a couple of years ago in Planet Terror. But, come on, for the love of God, somebody get this man some decent work! It would have been great if he could have gotten a role in the upcoming you've-got-to-see-it movie The Expendables.

Here's a quick run-down of Biehn's top ten performances:

1. The Terminator - Kyle Reese
2. The Abyss - Lt. Hiram Coffey
3. Aliens - Cpl. Dwayne Hicks
4. Tombstone - Johnny Ringo
5. Navy Seals - Lt. James Curran
6. In a Shallow Grave - Garnet Montrose
7. Planet Terror - Sherrif Hague
8. Rampage - Anthony Fraser
9. The Seventh Sign - Russell Quinn
10. The Rock - Commander Anderson

And I haven't even mentioned that his likeness was the inspiration for the cover of the original Metal Gear on the NES. Fuh real, take a look! How awesome is that? Very. So, there you have it, my love song for Michael Biehn...wherever he is...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Clip of the Week

Clip of the Week: New Mystery Team Skit

So, I know that I have already done one clip of the week for this flick whenever the first trailer hit Youtube, but I can't help but pimp the shit outta this movie because it looks incredibly funny, and it is from Derrick Comedy, the cats behind the funniest skit that I have ever seen on Youtube (Bro Rape). I was hooked on that skit for a year, and so I will do my due dilligence and get the word out that they have a feature film that is about to drop. Anyway, this is a skit that goes along with upcoming Mystery Team feature film! Good work, gang!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Upcoming Film Preview: A Serious Man


Upcoming Film Preview: A Serious Man

Directed By: Joel and Ethan Coen
Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Adam Arkin
Country: USA
Release Date: October 2, 2009 - Limited Release
View the TRAILER

Plot Synopsis: A black comedy set in 1967 and centered on on Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), a Midwestern professor who watches his life unravel when his wife prepares to leave him because his inept brother (Richard Kind) won't move out of the house.

Well, if you are not interested in seeing how the Coens will follow up No Country and Burn After Reading, you may not care about interesting cinema. I'll admit it, I'm an unabashed Coen Brother adorer. I love everything from Blood Simple to Barton Fink to Intolerable Cruelty (with, perhaps, an exception for The Ladykillers). So, I don't even have to know a damn thing about this movie and I will be the first one in line at the ticket booth, just because the name COEN is atop the marquee.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Upcoming Film Preview: Thirst

Upcoming Film Preview: Bakjwi (Thirst)

Directed by: Chan-wook Park
Starring: Kang-ho Song, Ok-vin Kim
Country: South Korea
Release date: August 28, 2009
View the TRAILER

Plot synopsis: A beloved and devoted priest (Song Kang-ho from The Host) from a small town volunteers for a medical experiment which fails and turns him into a vampire. Physical and psychological changes lead to his affair with a wife of his childhood friend who is repressed and tired of her mundane life. The one-time priest falls deeper in despair and depravity. As things turns for worse, he struggles to maintain whats left of his humanity.

Yes, that's right, it's another vampire film. But, hopefully Thirst will be this year's Let the Right One in. Judging from Park Chan-wook's reportoire, I'd have to say that that is actually a really good possibility. His past flicks include some of the best films of the decade, including Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and Oldboy.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

Awarded? Me?

The Blog Lovin' Award


So, recently I was presented with The Blog Lovin' Award from both J. Astro at The Cheap Bin and from When Is Evil Cool?. And for that, I am very flattered. I don't have a billion readers, so I appreciate it when the ones that I have say something nice about me. And, if you haven't checked out WIEC? or The Cheap Bin yet, you definitely need to go do that right now because they are both better sites than mine. Do it. I'll wait. And now, I think, I am supposed to pass the award on to others that I deem deserving of it. And there are many, many great blogs out there, but I am going to limit myself to just two:

The Criterion Grindhouse - Matthew is a graphic designer that apparently has a penchant for the macabre. On his blog, Matthew renders us some "cover art" mock ups of some of his favorite grindhouse cinema, if they were enshrined in the Criterion Collection. Great stuff.

Cinema Du Meep - This is definitely one of my favorte blogs to read. Michael always has something interesting to say about the films that he reviews, and he includes great segements like "DVD Evaders" that are always really great to read.
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