Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Clip of the Week

THE A-CLIP-ALYPSE!

Well, since we are so close to Halloween, I am just going to throw out a mixed bag of macabre mini movies for your viewing pleasure:

FEAR(S) OF THE DARK TRAILER:



NEW FOOTAGE FROM CoD 5's "ZOMBIE MODE":



THOMAS EDISON'S FRANKENSTEIN:



Woah. That's some wonderful clip action. Hope you dug it (like you would a grave, or something equally terrifying).

- Jordamned
Sulfur Lake, TX

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Top Five List of the Week

Top 5 Halloween TV Specials

Alright, there are two times of year that are especially great to watch your favorite TV series, because you know they will probably do something special: Halloween and Christmas. And, since it is almost Halloween, my personal favorite holiday, I thought we'd go ahead and list out the top five TV Halloween specials of all time.

5. Freaks and Geeks: Tricks and Treats - Judd Apatow's woefully short-lived TV series actually managed to give us one of the best Halloween specials after just one season. In it, we follow Sam as he finally realizes that his time for trick or treating is up (a bittersweet realization that carries with it many more philosiphical underpinnings for a youth) and we get to see Bill dress up as the Bionic Woman! Here's a clip!

4. South Park: Pinkeye - After Kenny is killed (natch) by the Mir Space Station landing on him, he is zombified when a bottle of Worcestershire sauce accidentally gets mixed in with embalming fluid at the morgue. Plus Cartman dresses up like Hitler and Chef leads a zombified cartoon version of Thriller! You can't beat it.

3. Roseanne: Boo! - When I was a kid, I remember always loving the Roseanne Halloween specials. That show always pulled out all the stops and made some great Halloween entertainment. "Boo!" happens to be the first of the annual Halloween specials for the show, and the best. It features Roseanne attempting to do everything she can to scare the poo out of Dan as he awaits a very important business phone call. Roseanne was so big on Halloween specials, they've even released a Halloween Special DVD! Plus you can watch it here!

2. The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror V - My favorite of all the Treehouse specials, part V featured "The Shinning", "Time and Punishment", and "Nightmare Cafeteria". The last one was actually pretty ghoulish, featuring a group of teachers feasting on the children of Springfield! Although the Treehouse that comes out this year does look promising, as it includes a Simpsons version of...

1. It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - Of course this is going to be number one. It's an absolute classic that deserve its status. Is there anything more heartbreaking than watching Charlie Brown get a rock at every house he trick or treats at? No. Watch it here!

Now, I know, I like Paul Lynde as much as the next guy, but these are my personal favorites. If you don't like it, you can shove it. But you don't like it, you love it.

- Jordanstein's M.onster
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Clip of the Week

A Tale of Two Trailers

So, technically this is two clips of the week, but since they are both trailers I am just going to go ahead and post them both at once. I am certainly excited to see both!

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN:



MY NAME IS BRUCE:



- Jordan Manhattan Baby
Sulphur Springs, TX

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Movie Deaths



10. Debbie Turned into Cockroach (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) - Freddy has long been known for his creative kills, and this one in ANOES 4, may be the single weirdest. You see Debbie is deathly afraid of cockroaches. Early on the film, we see her squash one of the cute little buggers with extreme prejudice. When it's her time to die, we see Freddy actually turn her into what she hates the most, and squash her like the bug she is.

YOUTUBE LINK!

9. Raft Massacre (The Burning) - The Burning is one of the few slashers that you can actually call under appreciated. In this, the best scene, our dear old Cropsy decides to really stick it to a whole canoe full of kids! With effects by Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead) you know it's good.

YOUTUBE LINK!

8. Jesus Wept (Hellraiser) - In this scene, Frank Cotton (Sean Chapman) bites it by getting ripped apart by demonic chains that conform to the will of Pinhead and the cenobites! This is just the type of crazy sadism you'd expect from Clive Barker.

YOUTUBE LINK!

7. Giovanni Lombardo Radice Gets a Headache (City of the Living Dead) - In this graphic scene, Giovanni Lombardo Radice's (House on the Edge of the Park) Bob bites it with the classic drill to the head from an angry daddy. Ouch.

YOUTUBE LINK!

6. And Washed the Cook Down the Drain (The Blob - 1988) - In the most memorable scene from The Blob remake, we are treated to a cook getting sucked down the sink, like so much garbage in a garbage disposal. It's a pretty creative scene, and worthy of this list.

YOUTUBE LINK!

5. Tina on the Ceiling (A Nightmare on Elm Street) - Yes, Freddy rears his ugly head once more on this list, this time from the original film. This time, an unseen Freddy rips her to shreds and drags her up the walls and onto the ceiling before spilling all of her blood onto the bed!

YOUTUBE LINK! (you can skip to about 2:16)

4. Clear! (The Thing) - In one of the best scenes in an awesome movie, we find an emergency procedure go awry! Watch out for that chest cavity, it's got bite!

YOUTUBE LINK!

3. Gut Vomit (City of the Living Dead) - I would definitely consider this one of the best "kills" ever filmed. In this scene, we get to watch as one of our heroines is telepathically signalled to VOMIT UP HER OWN GUTS.

YOUTUBE LINK!

2. Sleep Through This, Judy! (Friday the 13th 7: The New Blood)- In what's probably the most infamous kill in the series, we find our young Judy chilling in a sleeping bag, waiting on her boyfriend to get back. But all is not well. Jason has killin' on the brain, natch. Of course, Jason picks Judy up whilst still in the sleeping back and decides to swing her, baseball bat style, into a nice big tree. What a kill!

FUN TRIVIA: All existing home video versions of this film, including the box set released by Paramount Home Video have the infamous "sleeping bag death" cut to one hit, whereas the original theater-shown version had the uncut, six-hit sleeping bag death scene, with blood all over the sleeping bag, intact.

YOUTUBE LINK!

1. Choke On 'Em! (Day of the Dead) - In this gruesome scene, the hated Captain Rhodes (Joesph Pilato) literally gets ripped in half by a horde of hungry undead, thanks, in part, to everyone's favorite zombie, Bub. The grue is terrifically done by Tom Savini, and everyone lives to hate Rhodes. All of it adds up for the greatest horror death scene ever.

YOUTUBE LINK!


- Jordan Monster
Sulphur Springs, TX

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Rays Win the Pennant!

The Rays Win the Pennant!


Just wanted to take a second to acknowledge one of the best stories of the last few years in baseball, I am talking, of course, about the worst-to-first machine that is the Tampa Bay (Devil)
Rays. How about that Evan Longoria? BJ Upton? Matt Garza? And what about that young David Price? These kids are something special. Looking forward to watching them take on the fighting Phils in the Fall Classic.

I'll tell ya, I am super impressed with this club. Especially Evan Longoria. When kids have great rookie seasons, sometimes that hit that sophomore slump the next year and never get out of it, but I think it is safe to say that this kid is for real. His post-season stats are probably a good barometer to read if he is for real or not, and his numbers are stunning.

- Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs ,TX

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Top Fifteen List of the Week

15 Songs to Make a Macabre Mix CD

Being this close to Halloween, I always like to make a nice horror-fied mix CD. Here are some great tracks to add to your own Macbre Mix CD, trust me, it'll be a huge hit at your Halloween party:

1. John Carpenter - Halloween Theme - You can't go wrong with Carpenter's simple and malicious score.

2. Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl - A lot of good White/Rob Zombie titles to pick from, but Living Dead Girl stands alone as a great and horrific pop song that'll get the people going.

3. The Cramps - Surfin' Dead - The Cramps are a great punk/rockabilly band, and have a lot of horror-themed stuff in their portfolio, but Surfin' Dead is probably their best known song, as it was from Return of the Living Dead.

4. Danzig - Am I Demon - It's Danzig, asking if he is a demon. What more do you want?

5. Sisters of Mercy - Cry Little Sister - This one is on the list, simply to get your guests to stand there for a minute and scratch their heads. Once you tell them that it's the song from The Lost Boys, they'll all nod in approval.

6. Type O Negative - Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All) - It's Type O Negative. It should be requisite fodder for the Halloween mix.

7. Gravediggaz - Diary of a Madman - Probably the best to come out of the Horrorcore genre of rap, Gravediggaz is Prince Paul, Frukwan, Too Poetic, and RZA, and they are some gruesome mothafunkas.

8. The Ramones - Pet Semetary - "I don't wanna be buried, in a pet cemetery, I don't want to live my life again." Tell me you don't want to hear that.

9. Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast - Of course, we need some Maiden on here, and Number of the Beast will certainly pick things up.

10. Alice Cooper - Welcome to My Nightmare - I thought about going with Man Behind the Mask, but this is a much better song.

11. The Misfits - Night of the Living Dead - An absolute classic, Night of the Living Dead comes in at 1:57. And, of course, this is early (Danzig-era) Misfits.

12. Slayer - Raining Blood - The hardest song on here, Raining Blood is sure to make any crowd go a little berzerk. It's actually the catchy song on Rain of Blood, so it's a little more accessible than some of the others.

13. Wednesday 13 - The Ghost of Vincent Price - A pretty rocking song, pretty much any song by Wednesday 13 or The Murderdolls would work, but I like this one. It's all about Vincent Price. And that's awesome.

14. Michael Jackson - Thriller - Come on, you and everyone you know like Thriller and you secretly want to do the dance. Hopefully by track 14, you've had a few too many and you actually start doing it!

15. Fabio Frizzi - Zombie Fleash Eaters theme - A great way to cap it off is with Frizzi's wonderful theme to Fulci's classic Zombi 2. The song is seriously phenomenally eerie. A great capper!

- Jordan M. for MURDER!
Sulphur Springs, TX

Monday, October 13, 2008

Clip of the Week

Captain Ninja vs. Evil Dr. Robowheels

Thrills! Chills! Danger! Romance! Ninjas!



Yes, my adoring fans, this is my latest masterpiece. If it's not a masterpiece, it's pretty rad though, right?

- Jordan The Ripper
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, October 10, 2008

Top Five List of the Week


Top Five Horror Remakes

It's true. Today, the horror remake is usually just an excuse to rehash old ideas (with a built in fan base) with new teenagers in the lead roles for studios to grab a quick buck. And they usually suck. Hard. But, let us not forget that there have been some true gems. And, even one or two cases where the remake suprpasses the original *gasp*!

5. Night of the Living Dead (1990) - Effects guru Tom Savini remakes his old friend George's seminal masterpiece. Sounds like it would be a really cool undertaking, and, for the most part, it is. Gone are the socio-political underpinnings of the original, replaced with tons of grue (in color!). No, it's not anyway near what the original was, but it still manages to be a fun picture to watch.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004) - Dawn of the Dead (1978) is one of my favorite films, so it is no small feat for Zack Snyder to have made a remake that I would actually put on this list. While paling in comparisson to the orignal, Snyder's take manages to be quite different and still pretty scary. I recommend watching it, but don't expect it to live up to Romero.

3. The Blob (1988) - Released 30 years after the original, The Blob manages to be a lot of fun. Chuck Russell doesn't skimp on the gore, and the sheer b-movieosity of it all keeps you glued to the screen. You can't beat a classic, but this remake manages to actually be more entertaining than the Steve McQueen driven orginal.

2. The Fly (1986) - David Cronenberg's version actually suprass the 1958 Vincent Price film. Of course, the grue is amazing, but he also gets a solid performance out of Jeff Goldblum, no easy task!

1. The Thing (1982) - John Carpenter's absolute masterpiece of cold fear and paranoia tops off the list as the single best horror remake of all time. Taking Howard Hawks' The Thing from Another World, and making it completely his own, Carpenter's movie bombed at the box office, but it is still one of the best films of the eighties. I rank it right under Raging Bull.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Clip of the Week

Within the Woods

This was the short film that the gang that brought you The Evil Dead (Raimi, Tapert, etc) shot in order to prove to investors that they could convingly do a horror flick on a budget. The video quality is terrible, but you get the idea:



Groovy.

- Jordan "Don't Call me Ash" M.
Sulphur Springs, TX

Friday, October 3, 2008

Talking Film

With Jordan M.

Just a little heads up, this isn't really going to be any kind of a cohesive post, just ramblings about different things film-related.

The first thing of note is this bit of news reported by AICN (full article here):

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. You may have just seen the trade story that Herc ran just below this and now we have a follow-up from a reader who has some info on ISLAND OF THE DEAD (TM Hercules The Strong) and some rather blurry set pics. Nothing crazy awesome yet, but it is exciting to see Romero at work again and it's doubly exciting for me that he's not doing DIARY OF THE DEAD 2. Thank Christmas. DIARY OF THE DEAD just pisses me off and I'm happy to see the master at work on a Dead film not tied to the last piece of doggy-doo.

So, I guess this may or may not be a sequel to Diary (AICN says it isn't at least) or a sequel to Land or none of the above. The Master has been pretty reserved about relinquishing details.

In other news, I have just now noticed that the Tarrantino-helmed remake of Inglorious Bastards has its teaser poster art out:


If you don't know anything about Inglorious Bastards, here is the plot summary:
During World War II a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers

It stars Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, Eli Roth(!), and Diane Kruger. Tarrantino has done his share of immitating (and with flair!), but never a straight up remake before, so I am pretty interested to see how this one turns out. The smart money says it's going to be good, but the production seems to have been pretty tumultuous, at one time even having Adam Sandler attached as the lead.

And, more thing of interest, on Oct. 14 Ghosthouse Underground is releasing Dark Floors on DVD. Not too excited? What if I told you it's a Finnish horror flick starring Lordi. Now I've got your attention. Check out the trailer:HERE!!!
- Jordamned
Sulphur Springs, TX

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Clip of the Week

Zombie v. Shark

One of the best scenes from one of the best zombie movies ever, Zombi (aka Zombie 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters, etc.). This scene features a zombie attempting to eat the brain (?) of a shark. All of this set to Fabio Frizzi's wonderful score!



- Jordan The Impaler
Sulphur Springs, TX

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Top Ten List of the Week

Top Ten Horror Films of the 2000's

This week's top ten list chronicles the best horror movies of the 21st century, so enjoy.

10. 28 Days Later (2002) - While I still don't defend 28 Days Later as a zombie movie, I don't have any problem deeming it the tenth best horror flick of the last eight years. Boyle's direction is superb and the acting is downright great. The only major flaw is that the story is complete retread pap.

9. Cabin Fever (2002) - Screw you, this movie is good. Cabin Fever is an infectiously original horror tale set in a *gasp* a cabin in the woods. The whole story revolves around a disease that eventually starts taking over the residents of said cabin. It's nowhere near the first viral horror film, but it stays fresh, becoming almost a slasher movie with no slasher, merely a disgusting, skineating disease!

8. Jisatsu Saakuru (Suicide Club) (2002) - Surprisingly the only Japaneses film to make my list, Suicide Club is a crazily surreal mystery story filled with bloodsoaked carnage. You remember that scene in Hostel where the chick jumps in front of a train? Totally cribbed from Suicide Club. Anyway, just watch it.

7. Session 9 (2001) - A generally undiscovered gem, Brad Anderson's (Happy Accidents, Transsiberian) Session 9 is a thrilling ghost-mystery film, putting a new film on the haunted building (in this case, a mental institution) formula. Overall, the chills here are more psychological and keep you on the edge of your seat.

6. Slither (2006) - From the mind of former Tromaville resident James Gunn comes a wickedly funny B-movie in the tradition of Night of the Creeps. Slither stars Henry himself, Michael Rooker, as Grant Grant, the guy that eventually becomes the host for some strange alien creature that really likes to eat. Check it out, some great laughs!

5. Grindhouse (Deathproof/Planet Terror) (2007) - Yeah, we are putting both films together. Tarantino and Rodriguez came together with a very solid one-two punch with Grindhouse. Of course, the entire thing is homage (that is the whole concept behind it). Luckily, this homage is crafted by two expert film-makers!

4. Haute Tension (High Tension) (2003) - The French are really starting to make a name for themselves in the horror community with stuff like Inside and Frontiere(s), but it seems like it can all be traced back to Alexander Aja and his crimson-soaked (almost) masterpiece Haute Tension. I'll be the first to admit it, I don't like the ending either. I found it just as trtie as you did. But the rest of the film, my goodness, keeps the red stuff coming. And Jordan likey.

3. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Another film that is conceptually an homage (in case you are extremely uninformed, the name is a riff on Dawn of the Dead), and is gut-bustingly funny in execution. Shaun of the Dead keeps the gore at a hard R, but still manages to be bitingly funny (much funnier than anything Peter Jackson did, I must say).

2. American Psycho (2000) - You say what you will, but American Psycho is a straight up exploitation film in the mold of all my favorites. Forget the ambiguity of the ending, and focus on the whacked out, twistedness of the film. I'm not suggested Patrcik Bateman is a role model, but you could do worse.

1. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) - Don Coscarelli makes weird movies (almost exclusively Phantasms and Beastmasters), and Bubba Ho-Tep is no exception. This hilarious B-movie pits Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell's old-ass Elvis Presley and Ossie Davis' JFK (yep) against an ancient mummy in a showdown at a retirement home. Yeah, that's the plot. As ridiculous as that sounds, the laughs keep rolling, especially thanks to Campbell and Davis' great turns as the deceased historical figures. Great campy fun.

EDIT 10/17: I am not going to re-edit this whole list, but watching the 2007 Spanish horror film [Rec] really makes me want to. It is phenomenal and would probably bump down Grindhouse. Watch it!


- Bride of Jordanstein
Sulphur Springs, TX

Happy October

Oktoberfest!

That's right boos and ghouls, it's October. That glorious month filled with frights, freaks, and playoff baseball. I am supremely excited in every way. I kicking off my October horror marathon today and am hoping to catch three straight playoff baseball games on TBSHD. Oh, what a day. That's really all I have for now.

- "Deranged" Jordan M.
Sulphur Springs,TX
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